Sometimes we are highly motivated and the fires of desire are thriving. A surge of energy pulses thru and nothing on this earth can dissuade us from attaining our goals. We may have tapped into a powerful yearning to attain something or change something about our lives and our world. It may have come as a result of some motivational speak, literature, or an event. It may have sprung out of a personal desire that has been smoldering latent from within. It may have been born out of necessity, something that just has to change because trying to ignore it just won’t do. At times like this strength and fortitude are infallible. But what happens when this mysteriously vanishes? What happened?
THE FIRST REASON is that whatever it was you were doing just DIDN’T WORK and didn’t pan-out the way you had wanted. The diet didn’t work. The money-maker just isn’t feasible and congruent with real world difficulties. The exercise plan did not get the desired results. The counseling therapy or program did not yeild any significant results. Whatever it was, this is a reality. Some things just don’t work in all cases and for all people and circumstances. The worst thing to do is to attribute it to personal failure. Assessment and evaluation is of course natural and useful for learning purposes. First, right off the hop take an assessment. Are you really applying the activity properly according to what it is your trying to do? Are you doing the ‘do’ things? Something, anything will only work if you’re working it properly. This is a good starting point for deciding how to proceed. This is where one would do best by taking the learning experience and using it to decide and choose from the vast panarama of options that are out there. The important thing to always be aware of is that there are so many directions to go. The worst thing to do is think that because one thing didn’t work then all will not work.
The thing to do in this case is to apply what was learned as useful or not useful and go forward with new choices! Yes of course there may be trepidation and caution about any kind of new venture, that is natural. That is how growth and knowledge work. Seek out a different diet plan that is more appropriate to you and your lifestyle. Look for exercise ideas and plans that are more realistic and can in the beginning align with your current activities, and give you some early rewards. Be more cautious and discerning even more realistic when venturing into a new business plan. The key to all of this is that giving up will, I guarantee you,result in no results and may also nurture negative attitudes that can infect other areas of your life, where more negative and skeptical presumptions fester and grow. You may even begin to justify rationally why mostly things don’t work.
You may get really good at all the negative and destructive platitudes and self-talk which will only work to reinforce a growing negatitive attitude from you ;a breeding ground for future failure.
The simplest answer and most basic solution to a failed venture is to assess the damage objectively, dispassionatly (put off emotional rambles for another time) and evaluate the positive lessions learned and the gains made. Turn the negative results into useful lessons for future reference. Now move forward to new and different choices.
THE SECOND REASON self empowerment activities don’t work is throughNEGLECT. It may be that you started with a new and purposed attitude, desire, and had a drive toward a goal or sense of enlightenment. This is great we think. I feel wonderful! My self-esteem is growing, and my life is working better. I’ve made contacts. I’m getting stronger. I’ve lost pounds. I’m eating healthy foods. My blood pressure is better. I can socialize better. Whatever it is, things are going well. Then something however creeps into the picture.
It’s called complacency and self-satisfaction. You feel great and joyful about your results for a time. Then activities become more or less routine and don’t require a constant conscious effort; then life hands out other situations and circumstances that require attention. You address the issues and forfeit slightly your preceeding efforts and forget the activities that got those results. It evolves sometimes slowly sometimes more quickly that you have lost the benefits gained and you wonder what happened to them. Why aren’t things working out? With your business, with your health, with your social interactions, with your educational targets? Hopefully it doesn’t get this far but it usually does before it is noticed. This is where one could stop everything and ask as objectively and truthfully as possible: Am I neglecting something? Have I relaxed my effort? In my diet? In my exercise routine? In my study? In my counseling objectives? In my social networking and outreach? Am I indifferent about my acheivemnets? Do I care anymore about it? Perhaps a good way to start is to begin small and increase your efforts in small ways.
It may be quite evident when asking these questions since neglect and lack of motivation is the cause of this result. The most basic questioon now arises and is quite fundamental and deserving of a look. Do I still want the results I achieved? Am I willing to continue the effort required to maintain them? If I stop doing what I was doing what will happen or may happen? It may be that the changes amounted to just a learning experience which can manifest itself in the future when involved in other things.
THIRDLY: The particular self improvement strategy is NO LONGER DESIRED. Quite simply; it is no longer desired, useful, or important at this time.
Here there is a tendency to unnecessary self-reproach. An example would be: But I wanted such and such for some good reason. But now I don’t care about it. Something must be wrong with me?! Why don’t I care much about it anymore? This is the kind of think that is of little value and stems from a sense of self-doubt and invalidates any respect for your own mind. If it is only a matter of assessing and evaluating for the sake of intellectual closure, that is natural. But if it is allowed to attack your self-esteem then you have gone over-board and you might better retract and believe in yourself and the efficacy of your own mind and judgement.
It is perfectly okay to question, take advice and counsel (when it is in your best interest.) It is alright to change who we are . What our goals are and how we choose to live. Change does not mean that our goals and activities of the past were wrong. Nor does it mean we must always attain better in the future.We can keep experiences of the past as future reference poiints.
THE FOURTH REASON: that self improvement activities may not have worked is OUTSIDE INFLUENCE.
It is not to be taken lightly that there may be outside influences from people or other involvements that really don’t want to see you change for one reason or another. It is not imaginary that persecution exists. Some people really don’t want to see you change. They have a vested interest in you remaining as you are because you fit into their reality and have a certain place in their reality and life. You are upseting the applecart if you change. They may have to deal with you differently or not at all. They themselves might have to change something and they may not like thtat . It may be uncomfortable for them.
To deal with this; above all go back to the strength, fortitude and motivation that started your changes. Be patient with outside influences but it helps to be understanding. You don’t need any more friction. It may not be people but may be other activities or practices you are involved with that are in conflict. Notice this. Evaluate this and be more broadminded about how you want your changes to fit in with your new activities. You decide.
G.Thomas is a writer contributing about sociology at http://graspingthoughts.comwhich is a website about Self Improvement Practices and Beliefs
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